Its 2 am - how about a pirate joke

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye-patch.

The bartender looks up and say, "Oh my god, you're a mess! What happened to you?"

The pirate says, "ARRRR, 'twas a stormy sea, and a giant wave - washed me overboard! And as me mateys were hauling me back, a shark leapt outta the water - bit off me leg!"

The bartender says, "Okay, that explains the leg... what about the rest of it?"

The pirate says, "ARRRR, we were layin' siege to a ship - and as I swung over, a sailor reached out - cut off me hand!"

The bartender says, "All right, that explains that... what about the eye?"

The pirate says, "ARRRR! A seagull - shat in me eye!"

The bartender says, "What?? You don't lose your eye from that!"

The pirate says, "ARRRR! But 'twas the first day with the hook!"