Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Real Men carry Guybags

So I catch a lot of crap for carrying around a bag. Well, for everyone's information, I need to carry a lot of stuff. My Guy-bag is a necessity. It's the foundation of my MacGuyver-like powers. Enabling me to carry a note-pad, address book, digital camera, chap stick, snack items, and gum. Here's a quick list to review if your bag is a Guy-bag or a Man-purse...

Top 10 Signs Your bag is a Guy Bag, andis not a Man-Purse

10. It was made from a bear skin. With the bear still in it.

9. Ernest Hemingway was banned from the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, after he killed a bull with a Guy Bag.

8. It fires Patriot missiles out of the pen holder.

7. It came with a free set of Monster truck tires.

6. Rocky IV was originally about Rocky fighting a Guy Bag. It had to be rewritten, because Rocky died after being punched one time.

5. When you meet Chuck Norris, he clenches his fists, narrows his eyes slightly, and whispers, "Nice bag."

4. It's the only other thing that can stop Superman.

3. Guy bags are banned from the Canadian wilderness because they will dominate wolf packs and wreak havoc on nearby towns.

2. You can't buy a Guy Bag. It must be granted by the Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite.

1. It can hold a regulation size NFL football, a regulation NFL helmet, and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis.

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